"...Why is it That I am Alive Here and Now?"

"To look at a photograph of someone after that person has died is to take into your arms what is dead, what is going to die, Roland Barthes wrote.

The person is still alive in the photograph, yet dead in the world, and you, the viewer, the person looking at a living image of a dead thing, must ask yourself, why is it that I am still alive here and now?"

From page 13 of 'Draw Your Weapons'

I've been reading Sarah Sentilles book 'Draw Your Weapons' and would highly recommend reading it, even though I haven't even made it to the halfway mark of the book yet.

It is a true work of art and life.

 I wrote about how I came across 'Draw Your Weapons' in my post -
Synchronicity, 42 and Owls?

Sarah Sentilles walking into
 #42 for her book talk

And ironically as I was taking photos of the house (which was really my interest in attending this talk) Sarah turned up about an hour before the talk and started walking up the front stairs and I snapped the above photo of her just by chance.
I had no idea about what her book was about at the time.
Turns out it is about art and photography and the morals and contemplations about being in, looking at, and taking photographs mainly.  

My photo of me and my dad
 and my Nan's crucifix 

My mother gave me the above photo when my father passed away, of my father holding me as a baby and she also gave me my Nan's crucifix, which my father had kept among his possessions.

My father claimed to not believe in anything and often said that when you died that was it.
He only kept the crucifix because it belonged to his mother (my Nan), who was a Roman Catholic.
I'm not a Roman Catholic, but I strongly believe that when you die that's not it by a long shot.
I keep his mother's (my Nan) cross in front of his photo on my bench of photos that are special to me.

When I was reading the passage below from Sarah's book I kept thinking of the photo of my deceased father, but at the same time of the baby in that photo he is holding, because that baby is me. 

"To look at a photograph of someone after that person has died is to take into your arms what is dead, what is going to die, Roland Barthes wrote.

The person is still alive in the photograph, yet dead in the world, and you, the viewer, the person looking at a living image of a dead thing, must ask yourself, why is it that I am still alive here and now?"
I think that reading that passage and looking at me in a photo with my dead father put an entirely different spin on things, as I have to realize that the baby in that photo will be dead someday soon too, and pretty soon that photo will have two deceased beings in it for the viewer to look at.  
I also think it was ironic that the passage starts on page 13 and that my father passed away on the 13th of September, 2016.

So, is there a purpose to our lives?
I like to think so, but I'll let you draw your own conclusions ... or weapons, about that.

God, war and weapons of peace

"Sarah Sentille's parents raised their children to attend church each week, and to question what they heard from the pulpit.
And so it was that Sarah developed an analytical, deeply personal relationship with God.
Her first career was as an elementary school teacher in Compton, an extremely underprivileged area of LA.
After visiting a radically progressive Episcopal Church, Sarah left teaching, enrolled at Harvard Divinity School, and threw her energies into becoming a priest.
Although she loved studying theology, and preaching, Sarah eventually found her relationship with God and the church wasn't what she needed.
She walked away from her vocation, to become an author and a college professor, finding other ways to help people live well."

Sarah Sentilles 'Draw Your Weapons'

"US Author Sarah Sentilles in conversation with Bri Lee about Sarah's fourth book, 'Draw Your Weapons'."